Etiquette
Note: This topic was mentioned during the call but not discussed in depth.
Gil Friend noted that social curiosity practices used to be taught as etiquette.
Gil's Observation
"@Pete Kaminski This used to be taught as 'etiquette'"
Pete Kaminski responded:
"Navigating that social practice may be something that people have to be helped to learn, but it's pretty easy to learn."
What Etiquette Included
Traditional etiquette codified:
- How to make small talk
- Appropriate questions in various settings
- Turn-taking in conversation
- Showing interest without prying
- Reciprocal inquiry
- Remembering and following up
The Breakdown
What happened to etiquette education?
- Less formal teaching by parents
- Schools don't teach it
- Class-based nature made it seem elitist
- Cultural diversity complicated shared norms
- Informal norms replaced formal rules
Connection to Curiosity
Etiquette provided:
- Scaffolding for social curiosity
- Shared expectations about questions
- Permission to ask (and decline to answer)
- Social safety through predictable patterns
Without it:
- People may not know how to express curiosity
- Unclear what's appropriate to ask
- Fear of getting it wrong
- No shared language for navigation
Cultural Dimensions
Gil Friend noted:
"All games have rules. Cultures/subcultures/social classes have norms."
Etiquette varied by:
- Social class
- Region
- Culture
- Context
Loss of shared etiquette might mean:
- Increased Cross-Cultural Communication challenges
- More reliance on implicit rather than explicit norms
- Greater potential for misunderstanding
Can We Rebuild?
If etiquette enabled Curiosity as Social Practice:
- Do we need new, inclusive etiquette?
- How do we teach social curiosity practices?
- Can we have shared norms without class/cultural dominance?
- What replaces traditional etiquette?