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Gil Friend

Full Name: Gil Friend • Sustainability OG • CxO Coach

Role: Sustainability consultant, executive coach, and founder of Natural Logic

Contributions to the Discussion

Gil brought rich personal observations and stories about experiencing what appears to be declining curiosity, particularly in one-on-one interactions.

Key Observations and Stories

The Networking Phenomenon

Gil shared striking observations about one-way conversations at networking events:

"I would ask them questions, and they would not ask me questions. Which I found perplexing."

He noted he's had to adapt by talking about his own interests unprompted, rather than waiting to be asked.

The Three-Hour Visit

Gil shared a particularly poignant story about a three-hour visit with a longtime friend (known since age 12, now 55) who didn't ask a single question about Gil or his wife Jane, despite Jane's ongoing major health issues.

"I became increasingly uncomfortable. I was really baffled. I didn't figure out what was weird until afterwards."

This story challenged his assumption that lack of curiosity was primarily a generational phenomenon.

The Site Assessment Story

From his work at Natural Logic, Gil recounted training a junior engineer who failed to gather critical information during an independent site assessment. The engineer simply hadn't thought to ask obvious follow-up questions, revealing how different his "map of distinctions" was.

Etymology and Deeper Meanings

Gil introduced the etymology of curiosity, sharing that it relates to care (Latin: cura):

"Curiosity didn't begin as a quest for knowledge but as an act of care. Over time, we've separated inquiry from emotion, treating curiosity as a mental exercise. But its origins reveal a deeper truth: to be curious is to care enough to pay attention."

Pride and Prejudice: The Norms Question

From the transcript, Gil shared reflections on social norms and boundaries:

"I just read Pride and Prejudice for the first time, and one of the themes through the whole thing is, you know, what you're supposed to talk about and what you're not supposed to talk about, and how you get in trouble if you violate norms."

This connected to the curiosity question: Which norms allow or suppress curiosity?

Gil then asked the fundamental question:

"Who's we, who's they?"

This simple question cuts to the heart of group identity and belonging:

Cultural and Social Dimensions

Personal Philosophy

"I'm energized when someone says 'I've never thought of that this way before.' In fact it's been a central metric in my work for decades."

Medical Curiosity

Gil has been using AI extensively to work with his medical team more effectively, using "very careful training and prompting" to enhance his understanding and collaboration with healthcare providers.

Themes Gil Explored

Links Shared

Related Participants

Related Organizations

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